My Heart
by dragongoddess13
Summary: Shuffle Prompt Based on My Heart by Paramore. Soulmate AU The irony of where her soul marks were was not lost on Darcy. Clint Barton, in what could only be described as chicken scratch, sat just above the elegant scrawl of Natasha Romanov directly above her heart.
1. Chapter 1

My Heart

Paramore

All We Know is Falling

xXx

The irony of where her soul marks were was not lost on Darcy. Clint Barton, in what could only be described as chicken scratch, sat just above the elegant scrawl of Natasha Romanov directly above her heart.

When Darcy was thirteen she was forced to watch her mother die of heart failure. Kara Lewis spent one year on the transplant list before her heart finally gave out and all Darcy could do was watch as her only parent left her all alone with relatives to take her in only because they felt obligated.

They didn't treat her badly nor did they neglect her, but at the end of the day she could tell they were struggling and would probably be better off (even just a little bit) without her. So when it came time for college she chose the one farthest from home got a job and learned to take care of herself.

Having watched her mother suffer through her medical problems Darcy really should have seen it coming when in her junior year she was in a fierce debate with another classmate in her Political Theory class and she was getting pretty worked up. By the time class was dismissed, she was short on breath and she could feel her heart pounding in her chest. Apparently she looked pale too, because the professor and several of her fellow students stopped her as she was walking out.

Before she could answer the room went black and the next time she became aware of in the world around her she was strapped to a stretcher being lifted into an ambulance. At the hospital it was like she was thirteen again, listening to the doctor explain that what had killed her mother, was killing her.

They fitted her with a pace maker (just above her soul marks) and a beeper from the transplant foundation and sent her back into the world to wait for her time (good or bad) to come.

The problem was, once she got back to school, she couldn't focus on anything. All she could do was wonder what the point to all of it was. Why was she still in school, spending her days in class and stressing over upcoming tests through the night when there wasn't any guarantee she would make it to graduation. So when the opportunity for her science credits came in the form of an internship in New Mexico she snatched it up and left everything behind for what she hoped would be an adventure.

She was right.

Working for Dr. Jane Foster was like working for a ferret. An adorable little ferret who forgot to eat and sleep and who spent most of her working hours in a manic state of discovery. Darcy loved her. She loved her passion, her drive, her dedication, and for the first time in her life she realized she'd found a place to belong. She may not understand the science, but she knew genius when she saw it and Jane Foster was it.

Jane Foster was unmarked, so when Thor fell out of the sky she didn't exactly fight the attraction to him, nor did him to her. She remembered explaining soulmates to Thor.

"So these marks appear on your skin and their either names or first words and sometimes their symbols. It's a widely held belief that whatever appears on your skin is supposed to be important to your soulmate."

"And do you have a mark my friend?"

"Two actually." She nodded. "Names; Natasha Romanov and Clint Barton." She pointed to the spot above her heart, just below the bandage covering her pace maker and through her shirt. "Right here."

"Well, to have two must mean great things about you. You must have so much love to share."

That night she cried herself to sleep, Thor's words echoing through her mind. He was right, she had more than enough love to share, but she knew from experience the likely hood of surviving long enough to share it with them was not good.

Thor eventually returned to Asgard and Darcy found some semblance of hope in the fact that her heart didn't give out during the whole destroyer thing or with the Battle of New York when she caught her first glimpse of her soulmates through grainy, unstable footage.

Natasha Romanov AKA the Black Widow and Clint Barton AKA Hawkeye.

Her soulmates were honest to Thor superheroes. She had her suspicions that Thor would put the pieces together and inform them of their third soulmate, and she wasn't entirely sure if she was relieved when they didn't show up at her front door in London. Although she did get the feeling she was being watched a few times.

Regardless, another year went by and one would think the fact that she had officially lasted one year longer than her mother had would bring some kind of hope to her, but any chance to consider how her life was going was cut short when London was attacked by Dark Elves and barely four months later S.H.I.E.L.D. was falling to pieces.

Before Darcy could blink everything they owned was being packed up and shipped off to New York where their new lab and funding were waiting in Stark Tower. Darcy was promoted from Jane's assistant to lab manager for all the scientists in the building shortly after their arrival when Tony made an insensitive crack about her body type and she shut him down with a backhanded comment about his daddy issues. (She didn't bother to tell him that her own father didn't even know she existed) Pepper, who witnessed the whole thing absolutely loved her for it and promoted her on the spot. She got her own office with floor to ceiling windows and even an apartment in the upper floors, reserved for the Avengers and family.

Darcy didn't really wait to settle in before she jumped right into work, and before she knew it three months had passed.

"Come in." Darcy called out as a knock sounded on her office door. Pepper in all her glory stepped through the door followed in short order by Tony.

"I hope this isn't a bad time." Pepper told her taking one of the seats in front of her desk. Tony slouched against the wall behind her absently tapping away on his phone.

"No, not at all. I'm just reorganizing the budget a little." She set her work aside. "What's up?"

"Well, now that you've passed the ninety day probation period I wanted to let you know that you're now eligible for benefits. You know health insurance, yearly raises, more vacation days, things like that."

"Oh, okay. Do I have to do anything?"

"Yes, actually you have to have a physical for the insurance papers so we can figure out how much we'll have to pay out for your premiums."

"I see..." She was hesitant, and for the first time Tony actually looked up from his phone to study her.

"I assure you that the only people who fail the physical and don't get coverage are drug addicts and that's only because we fire them. No matter what you'll have coverage and no one but the doctor and Jarvis will know anything about how you did."

"Jarvis?" This time Tony answered.

"Yea, it's a safety protocol I built in. He has things like allergies, medical conditions etc. built into his memory so if there's an emergency he can dish out orders to responding medical personnel."

"Oh well that makes sense." Pepper continued;

"I've scheduled you an appointment for this afternoon. We want to get you in before the end of the quarterly period."

"Okay, I'll be there."

"Great," Pepper replied with a big smile. "Three o'clock on the medical floor. Just sign in at the front desk and they'll bring you in for a full evaluation."

xXx

Darcy's physical was as depressing as she thought it would be. She informed the doctor of her heart condition and her position on the transplant list and he in turn informed her that while her heart was holding out better than most, she would need one within the next two years if deterioration continued at the rate it was. He also told her he wouldn't be surprised if symptoms began reoccurring again and she should watch out for her stress levels.

Her pace maker was still working fine and with the exception of her heart she was in perfect health. And then in an act that made Darcy want to cry, he informed her that he had connections with the transplant board of directors and he would see if he could pull any strings to move her up the list.

She wasn't getting her hopes up though.

Needless to say, Darcy was pretty exhausted when she returned to work, so she quickly finished what needed to be done, checked in on all the labs and their staffs and headed back to her apartment to change into something more comfortable before finally ending up in the kitchen to make some dinner.

She was about half way through finishing up when the swinging door squeaked open. She turned just in time to spot none other than Clint and Natasha along with Steve and Sam and Bucky all fresh from a work out. They were both stopped in the doorway, taking her in. Clint was watching her with an air of wonder while Natasha had her blank face on.

Now Darcy had had the opportunity to observe both former S.H.I.E.L.D. agents at one time or another in the last three months and while she was sure they had noticed her gaze she never caught them looking at her. This may or may not have led her to believe they weren't interested. Which was fine with her really, it was probably better that way. She had spent some time looking into their files and from what she could tell they had lost enough in their lives. They didn't need to get attached to her only for her heart to give out on them. She didn't want to be one more person in their lives that would hurt them.

With that in mind she turned back to preparing her dinner, cleaned up and left without so much as a word to either of them. She didn't know it at the time, but she had walked out of there with her head down, as if admitting defeat to the universe or whatever being ruled over soulmates.

Another three months went by with Darcy avoiding both of her soulmates to the point of avoiding the whole team when they were gathered. She kept to herself, realizing after the first few times she managed to hold a decent conversation with any one of them that there was potential for all of them to get attached to her in some way or another and Darcy didn't think any of them deserved to unwittingly strap themselves to a ticking time bomb like her.

It was her firmly held belief that none of them would really notice her absence, since she was barely there to begin with.

She was wrong.

xXx

In junior high, Darcy was a bit of history nerd, as were most of her friends. So when World War II history came up and they began to learn about Captain America and his Howling Commandos, they had all started choosing their favorite. Bucky was hers. Watching his large frame loom in the doorway to her office made her rethink her choice.

"Can I help you with something James?" She questioned, mentally patting herself on the back for keeping the tremor out of her voice. She watched him step into the room, before closing the door behind him.

"Why are you avoiding everyone?" He asked her. "Ever since you ran into Clint and Natasha in the kitchen you've been avoiding the whole team."

"I'm not..." The look he shot her stopped her argument cold. She took a deep defiant breath, puffing out her chest which just seemed to amuse him. "I really don't think that's any of your concern. I don't have to explain myself to you or anyone."

His face softened just a fraction. "No, you don't, which is why I asked you nicely instead of digging through your files." She squinted at him.

"Basically I can answer your question or you're going to invade my life to get it anyway?" He shrugged.

"It's what I'm good at." He stepped forward just as the air vent popped open above them. Darcy absolutely did not squeak when Clint landed gracefully on his feet between them.

"Regardless of what you're good at you will not be invading anyone's privacy." Clint informed him forcefully, walking toward James and attempting to push him out the door.

"And why not? I'm so sick of watching you two mope whenever someone says her name." He struggled against Clint's hold, before breaking free and holding his hands up. "Fine," he looked over Clint's shoulder. "Just answer me this. Does it have anything to do with either or their pasts?"

Clint opened his mouth to protest but Darcy beat him to it. "No." He froze up, slowly turning to face her. She looked like she wanted to cry but was dutifully holding back. "It's got nothing to do with you. Now please leave, I have work to do." Clint's nod was stiff as he pushed James through the door and closed it behind them.

Darcy dropped down into her chair, burying her face in her hands.

She was really wrong.

After that she doubled her efforts to steer clear of them all, which may not have been the best option.

xXx

The attack on the tower was just as much of a surprise as the fact that it wasn't Hydra who attacked. Darcy was dragged from her apartment in her pajamas and thrown in with the rest of the weekend staff on the public lab floor. Jarvis was not responding to calls for help (the avengers were out on a mission, Jane and Eric on a science trip and Pepper in LA) and the men in weird spandex costumes were standing around them with guns of all types.

"This is how it's gonna go down." The guy she presumed was the leader spoke. "You're all gonna sit real quiet like. You're not gonna fuss or cry or scream for help, and maybe, just maybe you'll get outta here alive." He turned to Darcy. "Now little missy, you and me is goin' on an adventure."

One of the other thugs pulled her up off the floor by the back of her oversized t-shirt and pushed toward their boss. He grinned down at her and she had to resist the urge to flinch away from him.

The next thing she knows he's pulling her down the hall and manhandling her into the elevator. "Put in your code, girly." Darcy hesitated, listening to her heart pounding in her ears. He shoved the barrel of the gun in his hands into her back. "Now." He pushed her forward into the panel and with shaking hands she punched in the code for the private lab floor.

When the elevator reached said floor, the boss pulled her along toward Tony's personal lab. At the door he pushed her to the control panel, instructing her to open the doors.

"I can't." She told him, the gun pressing harder into her back. "I can't."

"Why not!" She pointed to the blinking red light on the top of the panel.

"That means the system is resetting. When you tampered with Jarvis he went into system lock down. All the access codes to the individual labs are erased there's no way in unless Tony Stark lets you in himself."

The man behind her was silent for a moment and in the silence she realized just how hard she was breathing. "Fuck!" He screamed throwing her into the bullet proof glass. She slid to the ground her breaths becoming harder to take as the pain in her chest presented itself. She could hear the gun cocking and looked up as he pointed it down at her. "Sorry girly nothing personal. We got strict orders not to leave witnesses."

Darcy curled into herself, throwing her arms up as if they would protect her. The irony of the beeping that started as she braced herself was not lost on her. Of course her pace maker would warn her of an event with her heart right before she was about to die from something else.

The problem was, the shot never came and when she chanced a look up she found the villainous boss on the ground unconscious and a very worried Hawkeye kneeling over her. It was in that moment that Darcy realized something very important, that despite how little hope she had for herself, she still wanted to live. The emotions welled up, tears falling from her eyes and Clint looked panicked as her face crumpled.

"Hey no, sweetheart, don't cry." He pulled her to him and she wrapped her arms around his neck burying her face into his neck.

"I don't want to die." She sobbed, her body shaking.

"You're not Darcy, darlin' you're safe now. He can't hurt you. You're not going to die."

"I wish that was true." She mumbled in reply. Clint pushed her away, looking her in the face with a worried scowl. Before he could question her, however, the elevator doors pinged open and out stepped Natasha and Steve.

"Hey, are you alright?" Steve asked as he followed Natasha toward them. Silently and with more grace than Darcy could ever have, she knelt beside them, checking Darcy over for injuries. When she was satisfied she gently wiped the tears from her face and helped Clint pull her to her feet.

"Where do you want to go?" Natasha questioned her.

"Pardon me agent Romanov," Jarvis spoke up. "But I must insist that Miss Lewis check in with medical." Natasha hesitated thoughtfully before;

"Very well."

And that's exactly what they did. Natasha helped her down to medical with Clint close on their heels. They dropped her off in an exam room and then waited outside while the doctor took a look at her. When he was finished he called them both back in and gave them strict orders to take her straight home and right to bed, where she was restricted for the rest of the week.

She was so tired when they finally made it back that she curled up under the blankets of her bed and started dozing off. Clint stood beside her and leaned down, running a hand through her hair.

"Do you need anything sweetheart?"

"A clean bill of health." She mumbled before drifting off.

xXx

"It was Justin Hammer." Tony stated as Clint and Natasha entered his lab. "Thor conjured up some thunder and lightning and they sang like a bunch of caged birds."

"Good." Clint's reply was absent minded.

"Hey guys, she's okay. She's safe now." Steve comforted, knowing both of them were concerned for their missing third.

"I'm not so sure." Clint told them simply before turning to Tony. "Can you identify a machine by the sound it makes?" Tony thought about it for a moment.

"I don't know, maybe. Why what's going on?" Clint sighed.

"What do you know?" it wasn't really a question so much as an accusation from Natasha.

"I don't know for sure. Jarvis, can you pull up the video of Darcy outside the lab this morning?"

"Of course Agent Barton. May I direct your attention to the windows?" as they all turned the security footage from that morning played. Clint could feel Natasha tense next to him as Darcy was pushed into the glass. Clint clenched his fists as he watched the gun lift to point at her. It was around that time that a fast beeping began.

"Whoa, what is that?" Tony murmured.

"That's what I'm asking." Clint replied as he watched the mechanic step closer to the screen. He turned his head as if to hear better.

"I have no idea, Jarvis, can you identify this?"

"My apologies sir, but under my privacy protocols I am forbidden from answering that." Before Tony could complain Bruce and Thor appeared, Bruce looking distressed.

"Is everyone alright? Whose pace maker is going off?" he asked looking around. He finally noticed the video on the window. "Is that coming from Darcy?" Clint nodded curtly.

"A pace maker?" Thor questioned confused. Bruce nodded.

"It's a little device that doctors implant in the muscle tissue around a patient's heart. When the heart is in distress it will send out a signal to alert the wearer, and if the heart stops or slows more than it should it'll send an electric pulse to jump start it like a defibrillator."

"Okay, so why does Darcy have one? Its sounds like something for older people?" Steve asked.

"Or you when you were a kid." Bucky murmured. Steve looked concerned, but a gentle look from Bruce calmed him.

"I highly doubt Darcy is as bad as you were, we would have seen other signs." He explained. "Someone her age, it's probably a heart defect or heart failure. If that's the case she'll be on a transplant list." Bruce turned to Tony just as he began tapping away at a computer. "Don't even Tony, I'll call Pepper."

"What? I'm not doing anything."

"You were about to hack into the international transplant list. Which I'm sure you're aware is a huge invasion of not only Darcy's privacy but everyone on that list." Behind Bruce, Tony watched as Clint and Natasha fixed him with their best menacing glares.

"Oh come one, don't act like you don't want to know." he defended.

"We do want to know, but we will ask her ourselves." Natasha explained, taking Clint by the arm and leading him out.

xXx

Darcy awoke to the sounds of someone coming into her room. She peaked over her shoulder to watch as Natasha and Clint made themselves comfortable on the little sofa. She sniffled drawing their attention to her.

"Hey sweetheart, I'm sorry, did we wake you?" Clint asked, getting back up and walking over to her. She shook her head.

"No." she lied. Clint sat beside her on her bed, running a hand through her hair. It seemed to calm her.

"How are you feeling?" Natasha asked, moving to her other side.

"Sleepy."

"Then go back to sleep, we'll leave if you want." She shook her head again.

"No, stay until I fall asleep?" they nodded. Darcy burrowed down into the blankets, pulling them closer to her. "Jarvis," she called out as sleep over took her.

"_Yes Miss Lewis?" _

"I want to add Clint and Natasha to my file." Her voice was barely about a whisper.

"_Of course Miss Lewis, Agents Romanov and Barton now have full access to your private records."_

She dozed off after that, and both Clint and Natasha silently moved from the bed and back to the sofa. When she awoke again, the sun was just beginning to set. She rolled over, stretching out before sitting up. Over the back of the sofa she could see Natasha and Clint looking through something on the holo-screen. She yawned, standing from the bed and walking into the bathroom. When she came back out Clint and Natasha were waiting for her. She could tell they wanted to talk, so she went back to the bed, pulled the comforter off and wrapped it around herself before walking over to the sofa and planting herself between them.

"So what do you want to know?" she asked softly starring down at her lap.

"Your file pretty much told us everything." Clint replied. She nodded in understanding. She felt the sofa dip beside her and felt arms circle around her. It was Natasha who pulled her close and held her. Darcy rested her head on Natasha's shoulder.

"We are going to live Dorogoy." She whispered. "No matter what happens, we will live."

xXx

Six Months Later

The incessant beeping woke Clint first. "What the hell is that obnoxious sound?" he grumbled, rolling over to pull Darcy closer. Natasha yawned, rolling with them.

"Perhaps you should get up and find out."

"Mmm, bed." he mumbled into the back of Darcy's neck.

"What are you two talking about." She mumbled sleepily reaching out for Natasha. The red head moved closer wrapping her arms around the younger girl.

"Don't you hear that beeping?" Clint asked. Darcy moaned.

"What beeping?" when no one answered the silence surrounding them brought the beeping sound to the forefront of her attention. It took a second for it to register in her mind, but when it did she was up, struggling to get out of her soulmates hold.

"Oh my god this is it." She said frantically.

"Darcy? What it?"

"What's going on?"

"My beeper, that's my beeper." She rattled on.

"Darcy." Clint called out, holding her still to look her in the eye. "What is going on?"

"That's my transplant beeper. It means they found me a heart."


	2. Chapter 2

Saturday Smile

Gin Wigmore

Gravel and Wine

xXx

Darcy died on a Saturday.

Darcy had only ever been concerned with finding a heart. She had never stopped to think about what would happen if things didn't work out once she did. She had let herself be blinded by the love of her soulmates; by the hope of her friends. She didn't let herself think that going under might mean not waking up again.

She didn't remember dying; only feeling floaty. She watched the doctors try to resuscitate her, and she saw the moment they gave up. She doesn't know how but she manages to follow the surgeon out of the surgical suite and into the waiting room. Her friends are gathered around, her soulmates sitting side by side and they all look up as the doctor appears. They gather around him; their anxious to hear what he has to say.

Even Thor cannot keep Jane on her feet; her knees buckling with the weight of her grief. Thor can only kneel beside her and hold her as he sorts through his own grief. Pepper and Tony take a step back, returning to their seats to grieve together. Sam and Bucky and Steve stick close to Natasha and Clint, providing support for her soulmates. It was her soulmates now that drew her attention and broke her heart.

Clint stared down at the floor his eyes tracing the patterns on the tile. Natasha had closed her eyes, leaning heavily into Clint's side. They drew comfort from each other, but they had so little to give, unable to find relief from the grief that descended on them.

"I'm so sorry." she called out to them, but they could not hear her. She tried to reach out for them, but the harder she tried to touch them it seemed the farther away they get. She yearned for the chance to comfort them to hold them, but she could only feel grief and regret at the lost time spent trying to avoid them.

Because now she would never hold them again.

xXx

The world passed around her in a blur of color and light and before she knew it she was outside, grass green and sky grey with unshed tears. She was in a cemetery and not fifteen feet before her, a group of black clad individuals gathered around an open grave. Cautiously she approached the group, spotting the familiar red hair of one of her soulmates as she stood shoulder to shoulder with Clint at the edge of the grave. She watched them as her coffin was lowered into the ground, a hulking grey thing that looked surprisingly classy for what it was intended for.

The whole team was there in various states of distress. Pepper looked like she hadn't stopped crying since the hospital and Tony was either hungover or without sleep, she would bet on both. Jane appeared catatonic with Thor keeping her on her feet and Bruce was staring into the sky as if he could wish this all away. Steve, Bucky and Sam stood like a wall around Natasha and Clint, much like they had at the hospital. Natasha and Clint were stoic, faces blank as they refused to look away from the casket as if willing it to pop open and prove that none of this was true.

Darcy shivered, a chill breeze blowing through the air. She looked around her, the fact that she could suddenly feel setting off alarm bells in her head. The sky was getting darker, wind picking up speed and the once vibrant green grass was suddenly over grown and dull. She turned back to the group to find them all staring at her.

"You have to wake up now Darcy." Clint began, stepping toward her and she took a step back involuntarily.

"You have to come back to us." Natasha added.

Darcy shook her head. "I can't, I wish I could but I can't."

"Yes you can Darcy," Clint continued as the other's save for Natasha faded away. "You can come back to us. We're here for you. We love you."

"But I'm dead." she told them.

"No, you're not."

The wind rushed past her deafening anything else they tried to say to her. She shook her head, suddenly wishing she'd paid more attention when Clint had tried to teach her to read lips.

Soon, Clint and Natasha had faded from view and she was alone in the cemetery, her headstone at her knee.

"We need you." Natasha's voice was all but a whisper on the breeze.

xXx

She couldn't breathe, panic setting in as her eyes snapped open and struggled to move, hands coming up to claw at the plastic in her throat. "Darcy! Darcy stop, calm down, you're alright." Natasha's voice was a calming force in her ear, her physical touch pulling her back.

"Hey sweetheart, welcome back." Clint cooed his tear filled smile coming into view. "Just relax okay, we're gonna get the nurse to help you."

Darcy nodded shallowly, letting the machine breath for her. Within moments a doctor and a nurse were there and together they worked the tube out of her throat. The first gasping breath stung and her eyes watered with the strain as the bed was raised for her to sit up. The nurse puttered around for a bit, checking her vitals and the machines before leaving the soulmates be. Darcy smiled softly as Natasha perched on one side of the bed and Clint on the other.

"You had a worried there for a moment." Clint told her.

"I'm sorry." She rasped out. Natasha shook her head.

"Don't you worry, we're just glad you're alright."

Darcy looked back and forth between her soulmates and couldn't help but notice the tight lines, and dark circles under their eyes. She'd seen that look before, when they returned from a particularly hard mission. She didn't know what made her ask, it all just came spilling out at once.

"I died didn't I?"

She watched as they tensed, faces slipping into expressionless masks as they collected themselves and returned to her.

"It was touch and go for awhile there, but the doctor said your stable now and everything should be alright." Clint explained.

"It's all gonna be alright."


End file.
